One of the biggest problems with setting goals and planning for the long-term is that I’m constantly changing and the world is constantly changing.
I once believed I would always be a foodie. Years ago, I used to wish for the superpower to eat as much as I want and not suffer the health consequences. Except after admitting to myself that I have a binge eating disorder and have had it for 25+ years, the relationship I now have with food brings me equal amounts of anxiety along with joy.
Living in Southern California was another future goal. Except after reading about the unprecedented wildfires nearly every year in addition to the looming drought and possibility of earthquakes doesn’t seem to be a good choice for me anymore. Perhaps my Southern California goal needs to be adjusted to living there 4 to 6 months of the year…
Add in unforeseen events like the death of my beloved late father (the doctor told me he had 10 years maybe even 20, he lived 4 more years), COVID, and a recent health issue had me feeling lost about the goals and plans I’d made for myself.
These past few weeks, in between running away from thinking of the future, I tried to understand what the current me truly desires and what I’m willing to do to make it happen.
Do I need to have a purpose or a grand ambition in life? Would the cost of pursuing that purpose or ambition be something I’d be willing to pay for in terms of mental health, physical health, time, effort, energy, sacrifice, and money?
More than anything, I think the current me desires to figure out what’s a good amount of time, energy, and money for me to invest/spend in the areas of life I find most important. Additionally, I’m asking myself what are the essential things that I need to do to give me the foundation to pursue a career and some hobbies in which I won’t resent the least interesting parts.